The Dragon Bride
SBS TV
Wednesday, March 30, 8.30pm (8 Adelaide)
Reviewed by Sujatha Fernandes
I have a lone buffalo
How much can I milk her
I want to laugh but my heart weeps
How much can I cry
Some are happy, some are not
Our destinies decide
This beautifully crafted documentary looks at the lives of the Nyinba people, a tribe who live 3300 metres up in a rugged mountainous setting in the north-west corner of Nepal.
By following the arranged marriage of 16-year-old Tsering Kangzum to four brothers, the documentary provides a sensitive account of this culture's marriage practices. It captures something of the oppressive institution of fraternal polyandry adopted by this tribe to ensure protection of property, yet it also highlights the buoyant spirit of the vital, strong women who survive it.
An eagle, soaring through a deep blue Himalayan sky and sweeping across grass-covered hills and ravines, gives an immensely liberating aura to the remote setting. But Tsering contemplates such a beautiful landscape as a potential prison when she says, "I will no longer have my freedom".
The reason she feels this way is clear when the documentary switches to the conversation among the men of the tribe. In a jocular way, they tease each other about their various brides-to-be, but when it comes to serious talk, it is clear that they regard their wives as their property, comparing them to their sheep. They tell Tsering's husband-to-be, "If you like a girl, you mark her; then no-one will dare steal her."
Every day the women climb 300 metres up a steep mountain and bring down large bundles of wood on their backs. The women marching down the hill in a line seem all the more like the beasts of burden or mules that are exchanged like commodities in the tribal system.
Yet as they march, they sing, and what comes through is that their spirit and irrepressible sense of humour keeps them going. These women have very intimate bonds with each other and also with the males and children of the tribe. One woman speaks of her "useless" husbands: "They are only good for herding the animals. But they're my husbands. What can I do?"
As the women discuss their husbands and lives, it is clear that they realise the limitations of being born a female in this culture. Tsering says, "I would prefer to be a boy. As a girl I must leave my home and go to live with others. I must obey. If I was a boy, I could have studied or gone with the sheep."
The documentary portrays the lavishness of the wedding ceremony, but amidst the celebration we can see the despair of Tsering, who must break links with her family to start a new life. After the marriage, her eldest husband says he will keep her only if she is good and hard-working. The echo of Tsering's reply — "What is my destiny?" — is a bitter testimony to the lack of control that these women have over their lives.