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Life of Riley: The pope knows
than a bishop. I mean, popes are like that with God. Your everyday bishop is one of a set, but ... The pope knows There was this pope, see — pope someone or other — an old codger who liked sticking ... on earth whose job it is to maintain production and oversee quality control of all the world's ...
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Life of Riley: Put One Nation last?
choice guided by the principle of voting for the lesser of two evils. Many is the time I have run with ... fact, I took pride in my ability to approach the topic of who gets citizen Dave's first preference ... in a strictly clinical manner. I like to think that mine was always an informed choice. But now, ...
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Life of Riley: The postmodern condition
muster as post modern to be in vogue. If you are like me, keeping up with the Joneses — if they are of an ... pongs like nothing else. To find the source of this stench one need only follow one's nose through ... The postmodern condition 'Tis a matter of some conjecture in those circles within which I am ...
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Life of Riley: It has come!
surfeit of news. I was the speaker of that BLAAAAH, and my utterance was noted by many of those around me. ... at the morning daily before me. I did not open my mouth for any purpose of articulation but thought ... conflict was visiting our shores. I thought the business of class, or business class, was simply a question ...
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Life of Riley: The bit what's left
The bit what's left In a standard working day of eight hours, it may take me four hours to ... produce the equivalent of my wages. If the time needed to cover my wage packet is reduced from four to two ... I'm telling you like it is: if you want to understand the free enterprise economy, just keep your eye ...
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Life of Riley: Men don't
I've never had one, you see. It's one of those categorical differences between women and men that ... without such keenness for so essential a human discipline as copulation? Practices like these generally ... have become a national pastime. Something like the cricket. But there's a major glitch in all ...
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Life of Riley: An excuse for butchery
Life of Riley: An excuse for butchery Do you know what the quintessence of sheephood is? ... our lives for the sake of others. For many, the meaning of our existence is only fulfilled when our ... throat is slit. That's our function: the lot of a sheep is to bleed. We are then disembowelled, ...
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Life of Riley: It was I
Life of Riley: It was I Just the other day I went for a walk. It was my lunchtime. The sun was ... of all the main food groups. After walking some distance, I ate my sandwiches. Then I strode forth, ... of its upward flight. On this wall was a sign which read: Embassy of the United States of America. ...
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Life of Riley: Adolf Hitler deserves a smile
Adolf Hitler deserves a smile By Dave Riley Adolf Hitler was no arsehole. It's true. He had ... a sweet tooth, was fond of eggs and neither smoked cigarettes nor drank alcohol. He loved Wagnerian opera ... and refused to eat meat. So what's a nice guy like Adolf doing carrying the can for World War II? ...
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Life of Riley: Details
"new Indonesia"... Oh, I like it! It's historic. You bet it is! "A historic process of ... of myself in front of everyone! What are you talking about? Haven't you heard? An independent ... "Process", I must remember that one. "Process of consultation..." Excellent! "... with an ...
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Life of Riley
It's a wonderful life Introducing, the one and only mother of us all — perpetually purveying ... old girl a round of applause. Where would life on earth be without her? Three and one half billion ... the ankle biters, great earth mother of us all? Up to their tricks as usual I suppose? I heard you ...
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Life of Riley: Richest man is the poor's best hope
to remind us that when most of the world's population lives on the edge of extinction, it mocks ... conference of computer industry wizards with the news that the billions of people who subsist on a $1 a day ... are not in a position to benefit from the information age. The premise of the conference was that ...
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Life of Riley: Love them bombs!
refugees. Well, who's to say one didn't cause the other? That's what it looks like. A bomb ... cleansing. It's what they do to get rid of whole groups of people. You mean to tell me that that's ... best of intentions, honourable intentions. They were helping out. Albeit with some collateral damage. ...
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Life of Riley: We are all reconciled
and it would be like the real thing. — But you just told me you were sorry. Ah, I was only practicing. ... BY DAVE RILEY <http://www.ozemail.com.au/~dhell> May 31, 2000 407 ...
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Life of Riley: Buying back the farm
wanted here. We're buying back the farm from the likes of you. Dave Riley October 16, 1996 250 ... She has had several expressions of interest but has been unable to make a sale. This week ... I intercepted the following advertisement intended for the classified section of the Courier-Mail: ARE YOU SICK ...
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Life of Riley: Tummy trouble
help them, they ask? Of course. Let nobody go without because what they like may not like them. No one ... salmonella's going to get you. I am referring of course to LORES — the Life of Riley Enjoyment Service. ... recognition as worthwhile members of society because every tummy upset monitored by the Life of Riley ...
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Life of Riley: Learning to use the
Here we are debating head on about what's wrong with the way we live and the likes of me ... go", I hear someone say, "Riley is one of those economic reductionists." And I am. I do not ... capitalism does is make a fetish of things — like guns, for instance. We all get hung up on the thing but ...
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Life of Riley: The red mole
Such is the price of fame.-But really! Do I look like a "red fascist" to you? In this light, ... were nobodies. Run-of-the-mill paper sellers, "sloganising lefties"... And today?-Well today ... you're a "manipulator of guileless youth" and I'm a "red fascist". Yes I know. ...
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Life of Riley: Winston and Kimbo: just for you!
Winston and Kimbo: just for you! Such has been the massive public response to the announcement of ... the political aspirations of P.M. Winston — ventriloquist's dummy and the future DIY prime ... minister of Australia — that we at campaign headquarters have been inundated with requests from ordinary ...
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Life of Riley: Mike's Militia
Mike's Militia Among the local stay-at-home-on-Tuesday-nights population of part-time couch ... potatoes, there may be some of you who were fortunate enough to catch Mike Moore's The Awful Truth on ... SBS TV. As a card-carrying member of Mike's Militia — a bona fide paramilitary protest group ...
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Life of Riley: My meeting with GA
feel comfortable with, like go on hunger strike or die of famine. Which raises the question: if ... extraordinary. Short of a rock concert, it's hard to imagine its like. U2 would be envious. But while ... My meeting with GA Here I am, in the full term of my mature years, after years of this and that, ...
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Life of Riley: Dem damn Dems!
the world for us like a menu of subjects all set out in order of priority, served up neatly, arranged ... thinkin' that the Dems were sort of like an old shoe — hanging around somewhere in the musty spaces of the ... difficult to be bored right now wouldn't it? At this precise moment of historical time, I mean. What ...
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Life of Riley: World's best practice
smoko. We cannot go on like this. Some form of healing, of coming together, of reconciliation, is needed ... existence for the past year a body known as the Commission of Inquiry into the Inordinate Increase of ... Bludgers. Some months ago this body sent out investigative teams to ascertain the level of bludgery ...
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Life of Riley: The Olympic spirit
was something I thought I must see. It took a bit of wrangling to get a seat but I am only 2.365 ... metres from all of the action (I measured it yesterday). At my place, the best seat in the house is mine, ... Nonetheless, challenged to give voice to them I work extra hard to make them sound like my own. But I'm ...
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Life of Riley: The chickens are coming home
Johnny's family down the road — and, in a roundabout way, the family of man. The family: what would we do ... the family, everyone would have to buy their own television set and bottle of shampoo. Without the ... family distributes the burden of living and the largesse of life. You won't find a more benevolent ...